Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I miss you, Wendy

Today is the day I lost my oldest sister, Wendy. She was like a mother to me. Even more so after my parents died. She was only 45. Her husband, Brad, died less than two months before she did. He was 46. They both had cancer.
Brad was like brother to me. He and Wendy had dated forever. We're talking junior high here. I can remember being 6 years old and Brad picking me up to give me a hug. Not a day goes by that I don't miss Wendy and Brad. I'm blessed to have had them in my life.
After Wendy died, I cleaned out her closets and drawers. Most of her clothing didn't fit me, but I found a brown sweater. I call it my Wendy Sweater, and whenever I want to fill her arms around me in a big sisterly hug, I wear that sweater. It's like being wrapped in love and warmth all day.
There are many things I loved about Wendy. But one of the things I loved the most was her passion for life, her ability to go into a room and make everyone smile. She made you feel like you were the most important person there. Besides my mom, who died two years before her at age 61, Wendy wanted to read everything I wrote. The first book I wrote she asked to read. Looking back, it wasn't very good. But she told me how much she liked it and couldn't wait to see it published. She was my biggest cheerleader. I will never forget that.  It's something that's missing in my life. Not that I don't have people who would love to see me succeed, but not anyone like her. She was SURE I would succeed.  
I'm still trying, Wen. And I know you're waiting in Heaven, cheering me on.


  1. So sorry for your loss.

  2. Thanks for sharing your heart so openly. You've had more than you're fair share of sorrow and I hope and pray for only joy for you from now on.

  3. Buffy, I'm so sorry you lost your sister.

  4. Wendy was sure you would succeed and so you will do what she KNEW you were capable of Buffy. You are already well on the way.

    I can empathise with you wholeheartedly, Buffy. My mother was taken from us when I was really young. She was only 28 years old. There isn't anything that anyone can say to make you feel better, but believing that your beloved person is in a better place is a comfort. Also knowing that you have friends who support you and know what you are feeling makes a HUGE difference, doesn't it?

    I'm your friend Buffy, just contact me if you want to share ANYTHING at all! I LOVE that about your cuddly-lovely sweater. Keep it always close!


  5. Thanks so much everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers. I think some of this is why Ella's Dance is so important to me. Here is a girl who lost so much and yet she finds a way to go on. And her grandmother's letters help her cope, one day at a time. In case you haven't figured it out yet, the picture of Grandma D on Twitter is actually of my mother on her wedding day. My mother's name was Dorothy. If you have never read my tapestry column, I encourage you to do so. You will find the column under the column tab at the top of the blog. It's a story that has really helped me cope. And, of course, the tapestry story found it's way into Ella's Dance, as did many other things from my life. Blessings to each of you and thank you for commenting and visiting my blog.

  6. Buffy, I am sorry. I'm thinking of you as you do for me!

    I loved when you called me kiddo the other day!

  7. Man PabloDuda0若愛 dude. Wish I could read what you wrote. You could be totally making fun of me and I'd have no idea. Not fair, man.

  8. Buffy, I lost my younger sister about two and a half years ago to breast cancer. I think about her everyday. Some days are easier than others. My sister was supportive of my writing too. Thanks for sharing this about yourself. It's great how you stay so positive.

  9. Natalie, sorry to hear about your loss, too. And thank you for the compliment. Take care always!